Book Rebellion

This may seems like a strange post, but for those “book” people out there, I’m pretty sure you will know what I mean. Have you ever rebelled against a book? Of course we all resisted reading assignments- in high school, and college- when certain books were required reading but nothing inside us had any interest in its contents.

I remember reading a number of books that initially pained me, though some have stuck with me over the years as food for thought- Thoreau’s Walden, Thomas More’s Utopia, Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein.

Other books just plain irritated me as I found no application for them, such as Ethan Frome and Death of a Salesman- I mean, the guy’s a salesman. Then he dies

I’m still on the fence about Upton Sinclair’s The Jungle, because I did come to understand (and abhor) the Industrial Revolution. And I positively detested Moby Dick- Sorry if you’re a fan. It felt like the Emperor’s new clothes to me, all the praise it garnered in public school.

Perhaps I lacked the maturity or life perspective, but Call me Ishmael -it just didn’t grab me.

However, I’m not talking about the inner resistance we might feel to an assigned book- be it book club or university lit classes. I’m talking about a much deeper, inner rebellion that, for reasons unexplained, causes us to simply loathe a particular unread book. To dissect it further- there are loathsome books that are rightly detestable– books that, if banned from existence would benefit humanity greatly. Most of the books on my mother-in-law’s shelf come to mind…

Not every thought or idea is worthy of writing or consumption. Not every idea has merit or value. Sadly, there exists no shortage of perverse, disturbing, and downright filthy ideas that foul-minded individuals have brought to type and distributed, corrupting otherwise healthy minds. The same can be said of movies- most of them, in fact. And popular music. In this fallen world full of deception, debauchery and unholiness, we must exercise wisdom and discernment in terms of what we consume. To rebel inwardly against such things is appropriate and good.

“Whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” - Phlippians 4:8

Like Jesus turning over the tables of the wicked moneychangers in the temple, I believe there are plenty of books whose only appropriate place is in the bonfire- the ones that twist and contort mens souls towards godlessness, treachery and evil.

However, there is a different type of book rebellion I am referring to- a deeply entrenched “soul” rebellion against a piece of writing or literature that frustrates every cell and fiber of your being, before you even open the cover. Especially if that book contains holiness, and purity, and ideas about God. That inner spark of rebellion is spiritual in nature- it is nothing else but our sinful flesh rising up against the Spirit of Truth contained within those pages.

So here’s an example from my life. Many (many) years ago, my mom mailed me a Christian book. This was not the first Christian book she had given me- far from it! But there was something about this particular book that irritated me. Perhaps it was the title- Jesus, Lover of a Woman’s Soul. It doesn’t get much cheesier than that. Perhaps it was the overly emotional pastel illustrations- whatever it was, the book sat on my countertop for weeks just taunting me, niggling at my spirit, agitating my very being.

I wanted to throw it straight into the donation pile, but I felt guilty because mom, in her poverty, had made the enormous effort to buy and mail it to me. I also would not put it on my bookshelf, because I equally didn’t want it to keep it. I also knew she would ask me about it, so there on the counter it sat, just daring me to open its pages. I remember at one point feeling so agitated that I abruptly flipped the book face down so it would stop nagging me. At last, having walked past it at least 3,000 times, I exclaimed in anger (as if we’d been having an argument,) “FINE! I’ll read you!” and I moved the book from the counter to the bed stand.

Here’s why I know the resistance was spiritual, because when I finally opened its pages, I discovered it was not cheesy at all. In fact, it was quite well written and interesting. And that’s when it happened- about one fourth of the way through the book, I was suddenly and unexpectedly filled with the Holy Spirit. Like a rushing wave and a consuming fire, the spirit of the Lord washed through me, filling up every empty space inside. Every cell and fiber of my being was at once fully alive, fully energized, and fully enveloped with love. It was the presence of God- there was zero doubt about it. When you feel the very real presence of our holy God, you never ever forget it.

You see, before opening those pages, I thought I was a Christian. I thought I knew the Lord- I mean, I had read much of the Bible, I had been teaching my young boys all the Sunday School songs, and we had a collection of children’s Bibles we read nightly. But until the moment that the Spirit came rushing in, I wasn’t actually SAVED. Even worse, I had absolutely no idea that I wasn’t saved.

It was immediately clear to me that the enemy of my soul was the one leading the opposition to that book, because it was by reading those pages that my salvation was secured. The funny thing is, I have no idea if I ever finished the book- in fact, I have never seen it again. The only thing I remember is the incredible, furious resistance of my flesh, followed by the complete peace of the spirit’s indwelling- everything else surrounding those moments is just a blur.

So here I sit (Jan 2025) with yet ANOTHER book that my spirit resists- this time a book club assignment that I thought was going to be packed with information about health and nutrition. Since that’s my jam, I awaited my Amazon order with the excitement of a child on Christmas Eve… and of course when the package arrived, I tore open the contents with glee!!!

Although we weren’t supposed to start reading for another week, I couldn’t contain my enthusiasm- I snuck a preview of the first few pages… only to discover (much to my chagrin) it was not a book about nutrition, but another devotional, loosely (very loosely) themed around sugar. Ohhhh UGGGH. How was I going to get out of this one?

But the Lord is gracious and merciful. I opened that book no less than five separate times before tossing it aside in disgust. I mocked it, I complained about it to my friends- I couldn’t find a single “useful” thing inside of it. It was all just squishy, emotional stuff- the kind of book I can’t stomach.

Of course, by now I’ve become intimately acquainted with that inner repulsion. I know it means “I need this” but my flesh says “No way.” Finally one morning, I gave it up to God. In frustration, I fell on my face and asked the Lord if there was anything valuable in those pages, pleeeeeeease help me to find it. Because otherwise I was going to quit the book club- and to be honest, I was just looking for a good excuse.

Well, when I finally sat down with intention, the Lord downloaded so many lessons to me I could hardly write them fast enough. On its face, the book is about running to donuts instead of God, which has never been my issue. But when I scratched beneath the surface, I very clearly felt the Lord telling me that my problem was running to MAN, not sugar. I have a habit of seeking first the acceptance of man rather than running to God. If I am upset, I call a friend. If my marriage is in a tough spot, I call a friend. If my kids are making me crazy- you guessed it- call a friend. If I need some encouragement, I always call a friend. I hardly ever call upon GOD.

This was just one of many weaknesses He gently revealed to me through this book. Through this silly (and superficial) devotional about sugar, the Lord was able to communicate some things I needed to change in my life- and oddly enough, sugar isn’t one of them. Even though the messaging in this book is “Christian-light,” the Lord was able to use it as a vehicle to deliver truth about myself that I needed to hear.

Hebrews 4: 12 tells us that the Word of Truth is powerful- sharper than a two–edged sword, rightly dividing between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. Once we are spiritually attuned to recognize the different forms of resistance within our own souls, we can wisely discern which things to give attention to, and which things to discard. My prayer is that I will be able to wield this two-edged sword with ever increasing accuracy- rightly dividing the Words of Truth.

The lesson is this: Indeed, there are many evil things that we should resist in righteousness! But that kind of resistance is an altogether different feeling than when our flesh rebels against something the Spirit wants to teach us.